Restore

In the jumble of judging judgementalism, and arguing about grace, and parenting styles, and complementarianism vs. egalitarianism, and everything else against everyone else because they’ve been hurt and because I have to be right.

 In the jumble of religion that is a pointed javelin that I practice stabbing into my imaginary enemies. Just in case.

Remind me. Make me a list.

Of

children

vegetables

trees

the color green

the swoosh of the wind

abundant summer fruit

Lead me through rich pastures. Point out the silly sheep and the beautiful wildflowers. Let me drink from little brooks. Restore me soul.

Let me know You. 

Sometimes when I try to set spiritual goals, everything seems cloudy and weird, such as hear from God more. Or they seem unreachable such as never lose my temper, and be a perfect meek person. Or everything seems legalistic, like read my Bible for 15.7 minutes every day.

Usually, I just don't think about it or change how I'm living.

I want to grow. And I want God. But I struggle to put the two together in a meaningful way.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

~Mark Twain

With All Your Heart

"I never liked Jazz music because Jazz music doesn’t resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theatre in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxaphone. I stood there for fifteen minutes (watching him), and he never opened his eyes.

After that I liked Jazz music.

Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It as if they are showing you the way.

I used to not like God because God didn’t resolve. But that was before any of this happened…" ~ Donald Miller

Sometimes, what I need more than anything is for other people to love God with all their hearts. When I feel like throwing in the towel or just settling with a pretense of okay, when I am angry and not listening, and when I desperately need God, sometimes I see Him in others. Through them, he changes me and gives me strength.

All the Time

I made a budget last night because mint.com is a mesmerizing thing.
Then I freaked out about how little I was making and summer jobs.
Today I ended up getting called into work at 9 and scheduled to work all five days this week. That never happens. Thank You, God.

God,
Sometimes I feel crazy,
and broken,

and passed over for other people.
Do I have value or am I just a warm body,
a useful number.
I was once told that you value brokenness.
But aren't you supposed to be the Healer?
When my life feels like it's oozing puss and blood,
I need You.

Some thoughts about music

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/worship/features/22374-when-the-secular-is-sacred

This article expresses a lot of things that I think are true, but that you don't always hear at church. God is big. You don't have to be doing something overtly spiritual all the time to be living the gospel. Isn't that what we want? To worship God in everything, even in situations where we can't or shouldn't wrap ourselves in a poster that says, "JESUS?"

I love God while I wash dishes, and wipe snotty noses. I love God while I teach algebra. I love God while I carpool kids around.

I think this article expresses a part of that. Right on!