"I'm not interested in the insurance industry. I'm tired of being a skeptic, I'm irritated by spiritual prudence and I feel bored and parched by empirical debate. I don't want to hear it anymore. I couldn't care less about evidence and proof and assurances. I just want God. I want God inside me. I want God to play in my bloodstream the way sunlight amuses itself on water." - Elizabeth Gilbert

Something to Consider

So I was reading a blog the other day and in the comments someone was ranting about this driver who cut him off. Apparently they were swerving and being an idiot and, of course, they had Jesus fish all over their car. His point was that it's embarrassing. I totally get that.

Only... Later, I thought, "Isn't that what Christianity is about? Don't we need a Savior because we are f-ed up?"

I think that church is one of the most screwed up things in the world. And yet, I meet God there. I know that you can meet God while watching TV, while at a bar etc. I go to church because I experience joy, or peace despite having finals looming, or a sense of being loved -- I experience God. I experience Him more at church than most other places. I wonder how a perfect God can be in a place full of wickedness, confusion, and hypocrisy. And then I think about God's other people, the Israelites. They were awful: whining, unfaithful, unkind, stupid. And yet God lived in a tent among them.

Because He's God. That's what He does. He loves the unlovable. He loves those who are pretending to be better than they are. He even loves Christians like me.

Sometimes it easier to judge someone for having a fish sticker, to believe that God is embarrassed by imperfect Christians. If God wanted someone perfect, He wouldn't have chosen me, Christians, or the Israelites.

Sometimes

Sometimes I ask my little brothers if they want to go to the park or make cookies with me or something.

Sometimes they say yes. But sometimes they say "No, I want to watch Gilligan's Island right now."

I don't force them to have fun with me, but I just walk away feeling a little sick and think to myself "Really Gilligan's Island cannot compare with building relationship. I know that at seven you think that life will always be like this, but it won't. You have no idea how much fun I had planned for you. You are missing out." And I feel sad.

Sometimes I tell God that I'd rather watch Gilligan's Island than hang out with Him.

"Oh I'm sorry, but I have at least an hour of worrying to do right now. I have to be mad at my family for a while. I'm tired and need to sit and read. I'm going to check my facebook first. Thanks for the redemption and unfailing love thing though. I appreciate that. Maybe later."

Really, I say that.

He won't force me to have fun, but I bet it makes Him sick. My selfishness cannot compare to building a relationship. Sometimes I think that this world is forever, but it isn't. I forget how much fun there is to be had. I miss out, and I make Him sad.

Sometimes my brothers and I have a blast.

Sometimes I listen to God.

And sometimes I remember not to be stupid.